Typically, I write about some sort of HR topic but it’s nice to internally reflect every once in a while. Some readers might relate to me in this post while others might think I need therapy to avoid a future nervous breakdown. Regardless, this is a topic that many people have probably considered several times throughout their lives and could be applied to any part of it. Today, I’m reflecting on what it means to be content and why it terrifies me at this stage of my life.
While growing up, I recall doing just enough to get good grades in school. Once I entered the real world, I did what I was told, followed direction from my superiors, and tried to quietly do my work well enough without causing any need for red flags or to be in the limelight. It was easy. I progressed slowly and steadily. I felt content in what I was doing and then one day it dawned on me that this way of living was not going to cut it.
Contentment for me meant settling. It meant just skirting by in life. It meant being involved in things that let me sleep soundly rather than having maddening (yet amazing) ideas keeping me up at night. It meant that I was blending in, trying to tip toe through life so I played it safe. I often wondered why many days I felt uninspired or like something was missing. Then I realized that I wasn’t doing anything that spoke to me as an individual.
It wasn’t until I lost my job over a year ago that I finally found something worth fighting for. I worked harder than I ever had in my life to figure out what mattered to me and how I could excel at it. I wanted people to see that spark in me, to recognize my hustle, and to see me marching full speed ahead. Did I have to be a pioneer? No, but I had to do something that made me feel like I was making an honest and unique impact. I wanted to have a voice worth hearing and I wanted to be worthy enough to be involved in conversations with people I admired.
After finally discovering what it feels like to have something worth striving for, I don’t want to be simply content any time soon. Sure, some days my head hurts from absorbing a ton of information and I might be exhausted from the extra work I put in, but in the end I’m doing something that I’m proud of. I can look back on it and know that I was the one who made that happen and that any successes I encountered throughout my life were due to my hard work.
Being content might be an option for me far down the road but definitely not now. Some might argue that I push too hard and that I’m not taking the time to feel satisfaction for the goals I have achieved along the way. To me, hitting a goal is just an affirmation that I’m making the most of my energy and effort. They’re not meant to be a resting or stopping point. At this time, I’m perfectly ok with how I’m progressing as long as I’m doing it well and with integrity. This is my time to feel things greater than contentment and I’ll keep moving forward to ensure I continue to feel this sense of stimulation and accomplishment in the things that matter to me.